Monday, May 12, 2014


I'm really not sure how to start this post as my heart and mind are heavy with thoughts great and small. I intended to write about freezer meals, but instead, I'll reflect on yesterday.

First—Moms of the world, I salute you! As baby continues to make itself known in mah big ol' belly, I can't help but marvel in this role I'm still getting used to. Me...a mother. Of two kids. (Say what?) I look at Hannah every single day and have to pinch myself. She's a beautiful, wonderful child that will be an incredible big sister. I'm spending these last few days of my pregnancy soaking up every last second I get with her and her alone because soon, I'll have to share myself and those moments alone with her will come just a bit fewer and further in between. How can one share themselves with two children equally? I know it can be done, proof created by my own mother.

I know I can do it, too. It will come naturally, right?

It's amazing how the heart always makes room for more.

Even if that "more" is a bit sad by nature: This past weekend, my Grandpa passed away because of complications that resulted from an open-heart surgery. It was unexpected, we all thought he'd pull through. But life is full of twists and turns, and so...we move forward with our memories of a jolly man that loved to dance.

He was fiercely proud of his American Indian heritage, taught me how to fish—he even hooked the worms for me—and he was always full of jokes and sarcasm, the kind that would leave you smiling. He leaves behind a life story that won't soon be forgotten, and we already know he's up there in Heaven. "Can't wait to hear about that baby," was the last thing he said to me as I hugged him goodbye in the hospital the day before his surgery. But now, joke's on me because I'm sure he found a way to find out what this precious bundle will be.

Not fair, Gramps! Don't send me any signs! 
You just keep teachin' those angels how to fish and keep your secret safe!

Whether or not you believe in an afterlife above, you can certainly stand behind the idea that a life never ends with death. A life lives on in the families and friends who embrace the memories of the soul departed, and that's surely what I intend to do for my Gramps.

Tomorrow, we talk about freezer meals.


Kelly McNelis said...

So sorry for your loss. XO.

Mandy Nester said...

So sorry about your grandpa. I never got to know mine, but I'm sure it's hard to let go. That's a great picture of you two dancing at your wedding!

I, too, am wondering about how I'm going to give baby #2 enough attention along with our 2 year old. I'm nervous but I know it will work out. So, I'm spending a lot of time snuggling with our little fella until this second kiddo arrives. About 9 more weeks for me and I know you're about half that. Exciting!

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